You’ll have to deal with this slight glitch in your wedding plans sooner or later; better resolve it as early as possible so you’ll have less time to fret come your big day. This does not involve your wedding theme or cake flavors, your entourage accommodations, or how your bridal gown will be tailored.
It has something to do with the no-kids policy which is quite a big decision for most weddings, and if you’re concerned if your sanity will last through the entire ceremony and reception with children running around the premises, this can be a difficult decision for you as well. Face it, though – children can be finicky and unruly at times, and you won’t want a slight aberration to snowball into an emotionally-exhausting wedding day.
First, remember that this is your wedding, and you can pretty much do anything you want with it. If you are having the reception at a fancy venue, you’ll have to pay for extra meals and other sundries (which can rack up to hefty amount, and put a huge dent in your budget). You have the perfect excuse if you are having a formal wedding, as most guests will understand that this is an adult-only affair, and will have no qualms with leaving their child in the care of a babysitter.
But for all other types of weddings, there is chance that you will offend some guests by adopting a no-kids policy for your wedding day. Whether your reasons for opting for such is financial or personal, you can ‘get away’ with it by sending wedding invitations which are subtly worded to imply that children are not invited.
First of all, don’t make the mistake of bluntly stating that no children are allowed for your wedding. That would be social suicide. You have to be discreet. You can try to leave the names of your guest’s children off of the invitations, or you can word the invite in this way: “Dear Mr. and Mrs. Smith, we would like to invite the both of you to take part….” – you get the idea. You’re implying that attendance is upon invitation only, and if the recipients are prudent enough to oblige, your wedding will hopefully be packed with an adult-only congregation.
Remember that if you do choose not to have children at your wedding, you have to be consistent; don’t play favorites. There are allowable exceptions, of course (your flower girls and ring bearer), but don’t make the assumption that your guests will not suspect that little Timmy gets the privilege of joining in the affair, by being one of the few persons to greet them at the reception. This is especially applicable to family members who are not part of your intimate circle.
Although this is your big day and you can do as you please, it isn’t fair to pick and choose which couple’s children will be invited to your wedding. “To be or not to be” should be the general rule, and if you decide upon the latter, make sure that it is enforced without exceptions.